joys of the local music scene

from 2026-04-26
by hexeaktivitat

for the past couple months I've been trying to detach a little more from the horrendous rut of waking up -> going to work -> doing work -> going home -> doing nothing -> going to bed that I've found myself in since relocating to my current area. this is, obviously, Not a Fun Rut to be in.

what I've done, and this has been slowly building through the year, is just get a little more involved in the local music scene.

this isn't about doing things like Taking Myself Seriously As A Musician and Trying to Make Money Doing Live Performance (though I do have a live gig coming up), or even Networking With Other Performing Musicians To Further The Potential To Make Money Doing Live Performance (though I have been actively working on making these connections). this is about going out and just sort of being in a space and enjoying something that is happening now (and will not happen again in the same configuration).

this is pretty fun honestly, and a lot less expensive / a hassle than I remember it being. for the price of what is effectively lunch nowadays I can go to a local venue and pay cover and a drink and just sort of let music happen, which is nice when I have been having trouble self-starting listening to new music at home. the local creative vibe is a lot different than my self-sought fare (lots of singer-songwriter guitar and Applachian instruments), and it's very deliberately and aggressively inclusive (a show towards the end of March was held to support trans prisoners and prison justice in general, lots of queer and trans acts there, including the memorable new sentence of "give me some more of that gay clarinet" which I think may never be uttered again except by me, in memory of the moment). it's a good supportive vibe, and my one open mic performance was allegedly a smash hit (I have absolutely no idea, I was staring at knobs and keys and thinking "it's all gone to SHIT") and I expect that the upcoming performance will not be my last.

the thing that's surprised me the most the past month or so is that I am feeling more energetic and happier than usual. I'm used to the experience of going out as being an exhausting and somewhat miserable experience: the fatigue of having to get ready, the fatigue of having to drive to the location, the fatigue of people and noise happening around me, the fatigue of getting home and being too wired to sleep but too tired to do anything. I'm definitely still some of those things sometimes but the fact that the local venue is basically right next to my workplace means that executive function overhead is low, the cost being inexpensive (relatively speaking) means that I don't feel bad about a night out. the increase in energy is new, though, and given the time of year it's difficult to distinguish whether "the days are longer and less bleak" or "going out and being part of life is helping" are the primary driver of this feeling.

the mildly annoying

one thing that is bugging me is the fact that it is, like many music scenes, very dominated by men in general. it's still a super inclusive community, and everyone involved is doing the work to help make it visibly inclusive, but it's really a bit stressful to want to be hanging out with My People (women and the trans/queer communities) but they don't necessarily share my musical interests or direction, and the spaces where I feel like my musical interests are shared are the ones where it's very Men. I'm also very aware of the fact that due to presentation I may be experiencing a bit of an easier ride due to people making assumptions and feeling locked in because all the communities are also very close to spaces where I am not yet ready to be Out without making bigger commitments than I am ready for at the moment (work, family). it's something I'm very aware of and I'm making sure that I'm identifying the ways that I can materially help out the members of that group with whatever happens down the line, but it's very disorienting even though I know everyone involved would have exactly zero issue with anything Gender coming up.

overall, though, it feels like I'm going in the right direction and doing the right things, so I feel like as long as I'm able to keep it up I think it will help improve my day to day a little better (definitely the ability to decouple social contact and self-esteem building from my job is the right thing to do for my health and employability). I still don't know if I'm experiencing a blip of energy that I will eventually run out of the time for or if I have begun to find the kind of restorative rest that I need for my particular neurodivergence.